Tuesday, May 5, 2009

My Heart and Flesh Cry Out

I got away from the house a bit today. It was still very tiring but it was a blessing to me. My future brother in law, John, is a mechanic and offered to look at our car for us. He fixed a few things he thinks it may be and hopefully we got it. We were driving all over Ocoee and Winter Garden looking for parts and doing this and that. It was a good time to get to know him better. It was awesome. I really like John and I'm glad that he is going to be in the family. After finishing our errands, we had some free time while waiting for a car part to come in, so we went to see my new niece, Ally. She is amazing and as cute as a button!!!! Weighing in at 9 lbs!! Big baby. So I got to see what John does with mechanical stuff and then I took by OHOP and showed him what I do when I am in full swing doing the ministry God has called us to.

After tearing apart the car, I remembered that I had to be at OHOP for the Global Bridegroom Fast (GBF) set. I have started playing bass again on a few sets a week, easing back into my prayer room schedule. The 6-8pm intercession set tonight was amazing! It was one of the best prayer meetings I've attended at OHOP and I felt blessed to be on the team. I felt the grace for night and day prayer once again and I started to realize that I have got to get back into the swing of things at OHOP. I'm not sure how it's going to work but I realized today that our calling didn't leave when Asher came, as much as everything on earth and hell wants to tell me otherwise. There is still work to be done as far as establishing a place for God's presence to rest and keeping the flame burning on the altar night and day. I am called to keep the flame and so is my family. It may be like pulling teeth to get our family in there but it must happen. We are called as a family to keep the flame of worship and intercession going until Jesus splits the sky and returns to receive His bride.

I am very tired from the day and have to go and do dishes and feed Asher and prepare milk for him and and and... but my heart is in the House of my God. I am longing to be in His presence and to be in prayer. Though I may have to take care of the kids and feeds and pumps and all the stuff of life, I am living for His presence and my heart is in that place. I long for Him more than anything else. It's hard to focus. There is always this underlying ache for Him. There is a groan on the inside for more of Him and more time with me. I find myself stealing away to get time with Him though life demands I stay busy with all of the temporal stuff. At first I feel guilty but then realize that if I don't take this time, I am useless at everything else I may do. I can do nothing but degenerate when cut off from time with Him. He is the giver of all life and grace and I desperately need both, therefore, I desperately need Him and time with Him.

Ah the ache is so overwhelming!!!! The groan so all consuming!!!! I must have time with Him. I must have Him!!!!!!

My soul longs, yes, even faints for the courts of The Lord; My heart and flesh cry out for the Living God.
Psalm 84:2


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