A look back at the first few days of our Intro to IHOP Internship...

We are here, FINALLY, at day 3 of our internship. We have been wanting to move to IHOP (honestly, Matt has been wanting for the both of us until about 3 months ago when I got on board too) and now we find ourselves here....and on the other side of countless financial testimonies and personal battlefields. This past year has NOT been an easy one and I find myself feeling strangely like a returning war Vet with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. As I was recounting last years personal battles to a friend of mine, I heard myself saying that this time in KC was our "Selah" period. Like in the book of Psalms when the psalmist wants you to take a moment and reflect upon what you just read, they write, Selah. I believe this time at IHOP, and especially this internship, is going to be a time of great inner healing and personal equipping. I believe God is going to first clean out all of the muck.....the trauma and hurts, the offenses and stresses of the past year.....and then fill us beyond belief with a revelation of His great LOVE for US!

Emotionally, I feel as if I have been broken down and tenderized nearly to death. I feel crushed, raw, hurt and exposed...and EXACTLY in the perfect will of a loving God! I believe in the God of Romans 8:28.... "And we know that ALL THINGS work together for GOOD to those who love God, to those who are the called according to [His] purpose." I have spent my time asking "Why" and now I understand that the breaking was necessary to get past my outer wall of defenses, so to speak. To get past the wall I had built around myself in order to protect my tender heart. Problem is I had walled out God as well as any would be assailants. I felt like a nut encased within it's own shell....safe, yet, somehow not living. My life felt hollow and I was afraid of even trying to live to my potential. I knew God had called me to greatness...even if that was just happily living to my fullest under the proud light of my Daddy's gaze...but that even frightened me. I am beginning to see that there was a breaking that was necessary in order for Him to work the greatest good into my heart. Yes, I still feel crushed, raw, hurt and exposed....but, that exposed, raw heart is so tender right now that at the first strum of a guitar during worship, I'm weeping. Crying out all of the muck and allowing God to repair the crooked places in my heart. I can feel the healing work already and it has been such a short time! Friday was the first day of Intro and for the first 2 days, we had the option of going to the evening Awakening Services or rest with our family. We chose to attend just for a while with the kiddo's to get a feel for it before we had to attend (like anyone would have to force us anyways.....the services are AMAZING! Healings breaking out right and left...emotional and physical healings, you name it.) Well, Matt and I took turns watching the kids in the toddler room so that one of us could experience the meeting undisturbed. The spiritual atmosphere in that building was tangible. Holy Spirit was there working on hearts, encouraging forgiveness and bringing healing to many. Many were praying and laying on hands throughout the crowd and others were layed out on the floor up front. I was in the back and just began weeping as the singers vocalized along with the music...no words. It was so powerful! I believe I received healing that night just by walking in the building with no one praying for me. I had experienced a miscarriage 6 weeks prior...only 1 week before our moving truck was coming and I believe it had been an incomplete miscarriage. Usually after 2 weeks, a woman's body is finished with the cleaning out period and she begins to physically get back to normal. Well, I was still experiencing bleeding 6 weeks after and was having a difficult time with emotional healing, not to mention the physical work of unpacking, because my body was still going through the process of the miscarriage. That night and the next day, the bleeding became so much worse that I was actually afraid. I had to leave the morning part of our internship to go home and rest, but, after a few hours, my body began to feel stronger and the bleeding lessened. I believe that anything that had not passed initially, was loosened and released during the Awakening Service and my body just had to go through the process of removing it. At first we were scarred of "what could happen" if the bleeding didn't stop, then we were feeling let down because our prayers were SEEMINGLY going unanswered. But, in hindsight, that was the answer to our prayers and we just needed to trust God.

I hope my heart's understanding of these situations is coming through. I am just so amazed at God's ability to bring RESTORATION out of a year marked by death. And, it is just fitting that the understanding of these things and even the physical healing from a lost child would happen today, on Easter Sunday.... the day celebrated in remembrance of Jesus' resurrection from the dead. "GOD YOU ARE SO GOOD!"

I want to share one last thing which was really cool. Today after church, all of the interns came together for a pot luck lunch in order to meet each other and build unity within our teams. I ended up meeting a woman who after asking a few questions, drew out my entire life's story of the past year. This has happened 3 times in the last 3 weeks and I truly believe that each time I tell the details of what we have gone through....that God is bringing more healing to my heart. After talking for a while and after she prayed for me, I found out that she and her husband were the one's who had adopted little Stephen James from the JHOP in San Francisco. For those who don't know the story...The young adults running the Justice House of Prayer had taken in a pregnant homeless girl and cared for her baby when she relapsed into her worldly lifestyle. They had such a heart for this little guy and wanted to see him saved from a life on the streets...but they were barely more than kids themselves, mostly young 20 somethings....and found the task difficult at best. Long story short, this family had just given birth to a stillborn baby and had agreed to adopt little Stephen. The mother moved to San Fran with her oldest daughter and took care of Stephen until the adoption could be finalized. She was even able to nurse that little boy! It is such a beautiful story...one that we were agreeing with in prayer nearly 3 1/2 years ago when we were living at The Cause Base in Ft. Mill, SC. And now, today, I was able to meet that beautiful family and little Stephen. It blessed my heart so much because Matt and I know that some day we will be adopting and allowing God's loving restoration to work through us in the life of a lost and forgotten little one. Just Beautiful!

I'm done....purged for now. More to come and hopefully full of pictures. Our new camera will be here soon and then we can photo update again.

Blessings!
~Erika~

Photo Update

The Long Awaited Photo Update of the Bond Family (mainly the boys anyways)

I don't even know where to start with updates on Asher, but I'll give it a good try. Our appointments have gone down to every 3-6 months with the docs and still 3 times a week with the therapists. Things are going well...he is completely off of the feeding pump and is taking all of his liquids by mouth with thickener added to keep him from aspirating. We just got the results from some heart tests and everything is looking GREAT! The "kink" in his aorta is opening up as he grows and he has a fully functioning heart. More to come on his Urinary tract as those tests are scheduled for mid Feb...but we are believing for a good report.

Joel is awesome....he's such a boy!! Balls, Garbage Trucks, Chalk, Sports....just some of his favorite things. He loves riding his "Concrete Mixer" (bike) around the house like a crazy! But, at the same time, he is so gentle and loving to Asher. He comes into the room some times and Asher just starts grinning and laughing at the sight of him. They love each other so very much and that touches my heart.

Ok...here are the pics ;)

Christmas morning - Joel opening his toy Garbage Truck!!! (yup...that's Asher under the couch ;)


Joel's special "garbage man wave"...lovingly given to his precious garbage truck. This is our ritual every Tuesday morning......wake up and stand in the drive way to wave at the 3 trucks that come by.


Our friend Anna gave Joely a Fohawk over New Years.


His first time experiencing ice outside. It wasn't much, but it did the trick!


This is what Joel calls "Riding Machines". Don't really know where that one came from...


Asher getting a diper change in a very cold car....but it didn't phase his Joy!!


During a therapy session at Arnold Palmer Rehab


He's getting so nice and plump compared to when he first came home. I love squeezing those cheeks ;)


Thinking about trying to pull himself up.


The first time Ash pulled himself up in his crib.....
he could finally get a good look at the glowing music maker!


This is how I woke up this morning...with Ash giggling and cooing, all proud of himself for getting up on his own.


Vocalizing a bit...


And just being overall cute ;)


My handsome men cooking breakfast!

So, that is a window in the life of the boys. We'll update some more on us soon. Blessings!
~Erika~

Daddy has embarqued on a wild journey...

I'm sorry for not updating this sooner, but life has been in a bit of a tale wind since last week. For those of you who do not know yet, Daddy passed last Thursday afternoon. He never wanted to be kept alive on machines without a hope and that is where we found ourselves last Wednesday. After speaking with the doctors one last time, my mom came home and spoke with all of us kids. We all agreed that it was time to let him go.

His passing has left a void in our lives and although we are sad, we are also joyful because we know he is in a much better place. When I close my eyes and picture him, he is always walking, running, or having deep intellectual conversations with Jesus. All things he would be overjoyed to do. I'm happy that he is no longer hindered by the physical handicaps he endured for 65 years and that he is in a place to obtain absolute truth to his questions. Our family is loving him in our hearts but trying to move forward into this new season we find ourselves. Mom is moving furniture around and in essence evicting "Muscular Dystrophy" from her house. She misses daddy, but won't tolerate the restraints of that handicap another day. I'm happy that she can embrace the good in this new season. We will all see daddy again and are confident that the dreams and prophetic words regarding him walking are not void now. We anticipate a day in the future when Jesus returns, to meet my dad walking through the door in his redeemed body. That was the only regret he had, to not be here on the side of the physical to receive his new body.....and he will be getting that anyways, just from the other side, so that's not bad for having regrets!

The memorial service will be this Sunday, October 25th at the Orlando House of Prayer (OHOP) at 3pm. Address: 495 W. Silverstar Rd., Ocoee, FL 34761. In lieu of flowers, my mother has requested a monetary donation be made to the Central Florida Compassion Center...the food pantry that my dad volunteered at. Checks can be made out to OHOP and will be forwarded in entirety.

A special thank you to all who have supported us through prayer, food and kind words...we appreciate your love and generosity more than we can express through words.

Blessings!
~Erika

Long break between posts....broken computer ;(

Well, I had a free moment and was able to borrow Matt's computer while I pumped so here is a very brief update just to keep you all informed ;)

Asher is growing and growing and growing....I almost don't believe the pictures of him from his stay in the hospital. It feels like a movie I watched once. I'll try and post some soon so you can see what I mean. We have been released from his Ear, Nose and Throat doc which leaves us like 9 more to go, but it is progress. He is wonderfully healthy and growing right on schedule, although he does seem a bit slow on some of his physical milestones, such as sitting and bearing weight on his legs. His ped recommended having a physical therapy evaluation done to make sure he isn't falling behind so that is scheduled for September 15th. His next swallow study is scheduled for October 20th, although I'm hoping it can get moved up some. We are going to try him on purees next week with his therapist to get him use to taking the spoon and hopefully he will do better during the study. We have been having some trying times regarding my milk production. I simply don't have enough for his needs, and produce maybe half of what he needs in a day. My heart is to have his solely breast fed because I believe it is the best for his immune system and general health and well being, but when the milk runs out you have to feed your baby with something. I hated it, but I tried formula and he threw it up. I tried goats milk and he threw it up, so maybe this is God's way of saying your baby needs to be breast fed and I will provide the milk. We have had many donations from the wonderful mom's who are part of the Bosom Buddies support group out at Heart 2 Heart in Sanford. I really don't know what we would have done without them and their generous donations. My heart is so moved each and every time there is milk in my freezer to feed Asher. I can feel God's provision and love and am learning to be thankful for the "daily bread" and not worry about what looks to be tomorrow's lack.

Joel is beautiful and growing tall. He has quite a vocabulary and is VERY independent. He is becoming a protective big brother and defends Asher's toys as if they were his own when his cousin comes over to play. We are teaching him how to share and today he broke his cookie into smaller pieces and handed them to each person in the house. It was wonderful watching the fruits of our labors!

Matt has been busy with the house of prayer, doing his regular morning hours, playing on 4 sets a week and teaching on Intercession, when the opportunity arises. He carries the message in him and I love hearing about it when he gets the opportunity to pour it out.

Well, that is all for now, Joel woke up and needs momma....

Blessings!

Erika

New Smyrna Weekend Getaway.... Thank God!!!

Here is a photo update about our amazing beach getaway last weekend, compliments of our dear friend Karen who allowed us to use her beach cottage, as well as our fellow intercessors at OHOP who donated to our gas/food money fund! The getaway was so much needed. God is really working in our hearts right now about turning our ministry focus towards our own family first and this time away together was a step in the right direction.

Matt and I enjoying each other in the morning sea air

Making bubbles with Joel's new bubble wand. I had that thing tucked away in the back of my closet waiting for just such a day as this!!

Daddy showing Joel a "pill bug"... I called them "rolly polly's" when I was little

Baby Asher sleeping on our bed

Joel was so excited playing with the bubbles!

Matt then went inside and made us breakfast

Cheesy eggs over whole wheat english muffin...mmmmmm ;) He knows how I like em ;)

Joel was driving hard for a beach visit, but we kept him busy until after breakfast was over with stickers. This is the book his "Mamma Glenna" gave him just before we left.

Finally, off to the beach. This is the first time he has been able to wear his little beach suit his Aunt Alexis gave him. It was a huge help in protecting his little white body from the sun.

I love watching him interact with his Daddy!!

Scary waves

He kept running from the incoming waves... it was so cute ;)

Asher making a funny face while riding in my baby sling

Running Joel...

"A Plane, A Plane!"

Joely using his cup...moments later it was swept away by the surf to join the Pacific Garbage Patch...I made myself feel better about losing the cup by picking up some old tire on my return trip to the cottage. Have to do my part...

Matt wanted Joel to get use to the waves and not be afraid so he brought Joel up on his lap and shielded him from the big waves. Joely felt nice and safe with his daddy ...they stayed like this for over half an hour.

Asher passed out

He was wide awake once we got back inside....here he is playing with his feeding tube

His whole being smiles when he is happy....he is such a blessing to us!!!

The small house directly behind the minivan is the cottage we stayed in, right on New Smyrna beach

This is the view from our back deck

Dinner at "Breakers"... I think we caught Asher mid blink in this pic.

My bearded hubby... still handsome behind all that fuzz!

We had to walk a mile or so down the beach to the restaurant. Joel got tired on the way back and hitched a ride from dad.

Asher loved watching the waves. He is so beautiful ;)

Impromptu Family Pic

Matt looking for his corncob pipe............

Sunday afternoon, on our way home. Joel passed out cold with his blankie just minutes after we started driving.

It was a wonderful trip... a little short but well worth the work! Hope you enjoyed!
Blessings!
Erika ;)

Playing Blog Catch up ;)

ASHER:
Alright, we underwent the long test to see how efficiently Asher's kidney's are functioning and emptying and they are doing GREAT! The Ureter connecting his left kidney to the bladder is still HUGE but the urologist is willing to wait and see if things even out as he grows. Thank God we aren't having to go the route were he has to pee from his hip....that was just too weird!!! As long as he doesn't start developing urinary track infections or the dilation gets worse then we are just going to let it be for now. I have started taking Cranactin, a cranberry supplement to help urinary track infections, in the hopes it will be passed on to Asher through the breast milk. The cranberry extract makes it so that any bacteria present won't be able to adhere to the walls of the urinary track. I've also upped my supplement program to include Elderberry extract and Olive leaf, immune boosters and Anti-viral agents to help me and Asher get over our chest colds. I feel like half of my breakfast is pills ;p, but it is helping. My chest is beginning to clear and that is usually a stronghold in my body.

I think I'm going to post a few pics of the boys from the past weeks, just to photoblog you up to date ;)

Asher just after rolling over for the first time!!

Asher's first time in the exer-saucer. He got tired really fast but this is so good for getting him to use and exercise his legs. He doesn't put much weight on them yet.

Matt showing Joel how to drum in our GHOP (Garage House of Prayer). Joel LOVES the drums

Joel in his "ball pit" with the "stinky blanky"... we are hoping the blanky phase is coming to an end soon.

Joel standing in Matt's djembe case. He's soo cute !! ;)

Blessings!
Erika ;)

A Moment in Time, Joel Style!

This is Joel, my beautiful 2 year old with a knack for getting into interesting predicaments. Instance above....suctioning empty fruit cup to face and all with a graceful flash of his unbelievably long eye lashes!!! This little guy is wonderfully brilliant and full of mischief. I partially blame myself for allowing him to become to independent, but it was so cute watching him explore his new world as a young toddler. If I had been a bit more reserved then, I probably wouldn't have messes like this now...

This is the view I had waiting for me when I finally withdrew from my bedroom during yet another pumping session. (for those of you who are new....my youngest son was hospitalized with an interrupted Aortic Arch at 3 days old and could not take any food for 2 months... I have been pumping ever since February 26th....) It is during these pumping sessions that my son instinctively turns into the most un-inhibited version of himself, not too unlike a werewolf during a full moon. I'm sure he knows punishment will surely follow, but for those 20 minutes or so, he can snoop unrestricted. It was during one of these sessions that he discovered I had forgotten to lock up the pantry door and since he loves eating dried anything.....he decided to feast on some Old Fashioned Rolled Oats and Special K cereal...then strew them over half the living / dining rooms.

At least he knew that he made a mess and tried to get the broom out to fix the situation.

I then caught him eating out of his chewable vitamin jar.....still don't know how he got past that child proof lid, but apparently it posed no great challenge. (FYI...those are beer bottles, but I use them to make home brewed Water Kefir)

So, after a few licks on his shorts and a stern talking too, he was put to the task of cleaning up his mess. Looks wonderful, yes....sorry it only lasted 15 seconds ;(

So that was a snippet out of my day. How did a portion of your minutes go?

~Erika~