Thursday, April 2, 2009

The omnipresence of God and a possible big step backwards

So, the news on Asher is that they did an eco-cardiogram today and found that there is a blockage in his aorta again. When they took the ascending aorta and connected it to the descending part, they had to stretch it a bit which caused the ascending part to get smaller and restrict blood flow. This causes a build up of pressure in the aorta which puts a lot of extra strain on his heart and shows in ways like: high blood pressure and a high heart rate.

What that means in English:
He may have to have open heart surgery again or they said at first that they may be able to fix it with a stint. We visited with him for a few minutes and they then rolled him off to get a CT scan that would tell more about his heart and what was going on. We were then left in the room alone for about 30-45 minutes so Erika ordered some food and we ate a bit of food and made some phone calls to pass the time.

They got back and one of the Drs. told us that they would most likely have to do more open heart surgery unless of course the results are different when the doctors conference tomorrow than what he could briefly see on the CT Scan today.

It felt like my heart sunk about a 12 inches in my chest as I realized that our son may very well have to go through all that again. It was very hard for me to swallow and still is. He was making so much progress and we were both getting excited that he would be able to come home soon and now this happens and sets that back weeks and maybe even up to a month.


As I was looking into my sons eyes and praying for him and comforting him, I suddenly realized why God has made Himself to be omnipresent. I didn't want to leave Asher today but I knew that I had to. Erika needs me, Joel needs me and God has a lot of work for me to do outside of this hospital. But I didn't want to leave him. He looked so scared and unsure of what was going to happen next. I was sharing his feelings and still am to a certain degree.

I then realized that God will never leave us the way I have to leave Asher. He is always with us to bring comfort to us even in the midst of suffering. I pulled out my phone and wrote down some lyrics that came to me in that moment that I just couldn't ignore. I had to write them down some how.

I then went home very overwhelmed and was reminded by Erika that this is happening right at the same time that things are coming together to organize a massive worship meeting on memorial day weekend (comment or e-mail me if interested). It's basically going to be 72 hours of worship. We want to create an atmosphere for people to encounter God for 72 hours in downtown Mount Dora.

This blow with Asher came just when I started to get a bit of forward momentum on the prep work. I know that God doesn't make people sick...He heals them. So I am taking this as a bit of warfare and intend to go harder than I was before this possible set back happened, by the grace of God. The enemy only attacks when he is threatened so I'm looking at this as a sign to press on harder then ever.

I got home desperately in need of a touch from God and just some time to talk with Him about all of this and to cry out to Him on behalf of Asher. After a Shower, I went out into the garage and pulled out those lyrics I wrote along with my guitar and put together a song.

I wrote these over Asher and tonight as I sang them I realized that The Father was singing them over me.:

I can see you crying out and I can see that you just don't know
I know that it's dark sometimes and you feel that your all alone but I'm here
And I want you to know that

I'll never leave you
Even when it's dark sometimes
I'll never leave you
Just look into my eyes

As I was singing this song tears began to fall down my face as I realized that God used me as a father to speak the heart of The Father over myself. It was a very awesome time of connecting with the Father's heart. I know that I'm never alone in these raging seas. He is with me!

Please keep us in prayer as consistently as possible. Asher, Joel, Erika and I are all in need of as much as you can dish out. You guys are great and have been such a massive help and a support for Erika and I through this time we are going through right now. Thank you all so much. Thank you for all the comments and e-mails of encouragement. Thank you to all of you who have blessed us financially to help us through this time. It has really helped to not have to worry about how the bills are going to get paid in the midst of everything else. You are all awesome! Thank you all so much.



Melinda Ojeda said...

Wow! My heart is welled up over little Asher's current situation. And yet I'm touched by your latest writing and the faith that you have in our amazing God. Baby Asher has not left our thoughts and prayers, sincerely! I think of him all the time and pray for him, the same. We trust that before the conference with the doctors that there will be no blockages, in the name of Jesus, our healer!

Continue to stay strong in the Lord. He is faithful and Soverign. We love you and are praying for you!

In Christ,
Melinda & Rick Ojeda

Dixiemom7 said...

Praying, crying and fighting with you.