Okay so the last few days have been trying but God has given me keys to being victorious in them. So yesterday, I wake up and instantly feel ridiculously overwhelmed with everything (it's how I have been waking up almost everyday for the last week or so.) I was just feeling miserable and tired and overwhelmed. I decided that it would be a good time to start a 21 day water fast on this day as well. We pretty much decided that the fast was a bad idea right now until we get a handle on things. So all that to say that I woke up feeling really bad and overwhelmed and exhausted. I hadn't showered in something like 4 days and I decided that life had to wait a minute until I took a shower.
While in the shower, I cried out to God. We talked about how I needed Him to make Himself real to me because I simply couldn't take this pressure anymore without Him. I prayed that the Holy Spirit would fill me and I surrendered my life to Jesus again as if it was the very first time.
I get out of the shower and suddenly things aren't anywhere close to as overwhelming to me and I have this peace like God answered my prayers. The rest of the day was filled with peace, though we didn't get a whole lot of extra sleep or anything. The day just went by with such grace and peace. It was awesome.
This similar thing happened to me today when I took my shower. (showers, 2 days in a row. God Really likes me!!) and did the same thing. I didn't get a whole lot of sleep the night before and it was taking it's toll on me. After some great fellowship with the Cornets and a staff meeting at OHOP, I was ready for a shower. I went for it in the shower again and He met me and gave me grace for the rest of the day.
So what I'm saying through all this is that God is showing me the trick to speaking to storms. He has been showing me that your inner man must be washed daily as well as your outer man. A lot of people like quoting Psalm 91 and don't realize that there is a qualifier. It's in verse 1. ;
"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. "
It then lists all these benefits of having a lifestyle lived in His presence.
God is showing me the best thing that I can do for my family is to sow time into personal prayer and give attention to being in the presence of God and to treat it more importantly than any other meeting that I have throughout the day. It is in this place that I get centered or calibrated like a scale when I'm in His presence. I take the time to gaze at the one that I Love and according to 1st John 3ish we become what we gaze at.
My family needs me to have the character of Christ more than they need me to "just be there" for them. They need Christ leading this house.
I really want to finish but I am nodding off and forgetting what I am typing anyway.
Pray for Erika and I, that we would somehow get some really good quality rest. There is more but not for tonight. I need SLEEP!!!