Some good news....

I heard some good news today! The nurse said that Asher may be taken off the ventilator on Monday, as well as have his 2 remaining chest tubes taken out. What a blessing that will be! I rejoice any time they take a tube out because that is one less place for infection to set in and one step closer to him coming home. I may even be able to hold him after he comes off the vent...the main concern would be whether holding him will interfere with the Iv in his groin.

Pray that Asher's body continue to handle the excess fluids so that they do not have to put the tubes back in again, after removal.

Pray that his lungs will function perfectly off of the ventilator.

Pray that I can hold him soon...he needs some momma love after being all alone in that bed for so long.

~ * ~

I went to church today for the first time since having Asher. I didn't like being gone so long, but with my pumping schedule, I find I am on a very short leash and have to stay close to my house. Even though I was an hour late, I am still glad that I made it. The worship was amazing (thank you Matt Gilman) and I had a chance to feel the love and support of our church family up close and personal. When I was leaving, I stopped to say goodbye to a friend of mine by the door and she told me that she had a dream about Asher and after telling me she began sharing what the Lord had laid on her heart regarding him. She said that God was very protective over him and personally kept watch in his room and played with him. That touched my heart because I had prayed that the angels would stand by him night and day and take him away to a heavenly place where he could continue to learn, play and develop. She also brought up the fact that I needed to fully decide whether I was going to give him to God or not. This echos the prayer meeting we had a few Monday's ago where Matt said that I was a "Hannah" contending for the life of my son, a Samuel who was to be set before God all the days of his life. I thought that I had already decided to give him to God, but when she brought that up, it made me question. What does it look like to give your children back to God? It's an easy thing to say, but something entirely different when you have to live it out. So, this afternoon, I took a moment and looked inside and told God that Asher was His to do with as He saw fit. I likened his life to a sunset...one of God's creations that no one owns, but everyone can benefit from it's beauty.....so I asked God if I could still partake in Asher's beauty on a daily basis. I'm still waiting on an official answer, but I feel that the answer is "Yes".

Well...it's really late....and I'm exhausted. Blessings everyone!
~Erika~